My daughter, Myla, recently celebrated her first birthday.  It was truly a time of celebration.  It was a day for our entire family to gather and celebrate the first year of a beautiful little girl. It was also a day of blending cultures.  My wife and her family are originally from South Korea, whereas my family is 100 percent European.

  

Our house was filled with the usual decorations that most of us associate with a child's first birthday celebration.  Balloons, pink streamers, gifts wrapped in bright colors, and of course a birthday cake. However, upon further examination you would begin to notice the Korean culture. Assorted colorful candies made of soy are stacked high to represent a long life.  Traditional Korean seaweed soup is also on the menu to represent the difficulties the mother endured during childbirth. (The soup is given to the mother during her recovery.) The entire counter top is filled with Korean dishes, as well as more traditional American favorites. 

Myla greeted her guests in a white birthday dress and a hat with pink furry trim and tassel.  Immediately after the singing "Happy Birthday" and eating her cake, she was taken away by her mother and grandmother.  A space was cleared on the floor and several items were laid out on a mat.  A pencil, string, a book, money, and rice were a few of the items.  After a few minutes, Myla made her grand re-entrance, this time wearing a traditional Korean dress.  She was placed on the mat, in front of the items.  Now it was time to see which items would be chosen. The first was the money.  This is supposed to predict financial stability for my daughter.  The second was the book, which represents intelligence.  The final item chosen was the string.  This one represents long life.  So, I have hope that my daughter will have a long career as a cardiologist!

I believe that my daughter's life will be greatly enriched by being a part of both cultures.  There are many differences in American and Korean cultures.  However, it is very apparent how much our children are celebrated in each.

With Valentine's Day rapidly coming up on us, we often focus our attention on our wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend.  As a husband, I will get my wife flowers and chocolates.  Perhaps a jewelry purchase is in my near future. And rightfully so.  Our significant others deserve to know how much we love and appreciate them.  This is truly a special day for couples.  That is why I also like to remember those special couples that have been influential in my life; people that have helped shape me into the good person that I hope I am today.  Today, I find myself thinking of my maternal grandparents, Fred and Carroll VanderKooi.

My grandparents met while my grandfather was in Korea during the "Forgotten War".  He was in an infantry squad with my grandmother's brother.  Without the luxury of emails or cell phones, serving in such conditions was extremely isolated and lonely. Through a very fortunate chain of events, my grandfather began to write letters to my grandmother.  For over a year and a half this correspondence continued.  This is hard to understand for most people now, as the mail took several weeks to be delivered.  But, somehow they endured, and finally met face to face.

It wasn't long before they were married and started their family.  They moved to a small farm in rural Hinton, Iowa and my grandfather began his longtime career as a semi-truck driver.  Life wasn't always easy for my grandparents, but they were always there for each other.  My grandparents were very reserved with displays of  affection in front of others, but somehow it was always apparent how much they loved each other.

Grandpa Fred would come home from work visibly exhausted.  He would always have on a t-shirt and jeans in the summer and added a flannel shirt in the winter.  I remember him smelling like the field corn he had been hauling all day. Although tired, he always had the energy to ask my grandmother about her day. My Grandma Carroll, who also worked very hard in their home, made sure there was always a wonderful dinner and a kind word for her family to enjoy.

My grandfather once told me, jokingly, that the secret to a happy marriage is the man always needs to have the last word...and those words better be "yes dear".  I am forever thankful to my grandparents for showing me how to be a good husband and father.  Their bond never faded.  Not even on the day that my grandmother passed away.  My grandfather doesn't know that I saw this, but while my grandma was lying in her hospital bed my grandpa leaned over her and gave her a kiss and told her that he loved her.  It was the only time I had ever seen my Grandpa Fred cry.

 (BTW...My grandpa is wearing a wig in this photo)